Friday, October 27, 2006

Oh how the mighty have fallen...

Did you ever see that "Friends" episode where the characters talked about their "Lists"?

...yeah me either...

Well, I have been *told* that there was an episode during "Friends" historic 10 year run that had the characters talking about their freebie list of 5 celebrities that they could sleep with without any repercussions... everyone knows what I'm talking about... and everyone has their own "List"...

Well, thank goodness there isnt a rule that stats that once you make your list, you cant change it... because I have made numerous changes to mine...

For example... there was a lengthy stretch where one gal was atop my elite List of super hot women... that one gal was Britney Spears.

Britney Spears when she looked like this:
That is fierce my friends. Fierce.

... and when she danced like this:



There was no question that she was #1... it was a given... it was X=1 in my celebrity hotness equation...

Then, K-Fed entered the scene.

... and Britney went from the cherry-bomb ass vixen shown above... to this:


Now... dont get me wrong... its not because she is pregnant... I happen to love the way pregnant ladies look... they glow...

But not this pregnant lady... she went white-trash on me. On us. Now, she very well may have been that way the entire time, but when she was looking good, it didnt much matter.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Anyway, since I have mentioned the "List"... my "List"... I figure I better lay it out for you... I mean, for no other reason than to post pictures of (what I think are) the 5 hottest chicks in the league right now... here we go:

#1 Jessica Simpson
Before you roll your eyes and say "oh, but she's so dumb", consider this. IT DOESNT MATTER.


need more proof? okay then:

#2 Jessica Biel
No. Words. Necessary.


... the rest to come later...

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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Easily the funniest thing you will see all day...

You may have seen this already... but damn is it funny...

BYAAHHHH!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Pro-Line Prognostication Putridity -- Vol. 2

Wow... I knew I was bad at this... but I didnt know how bad... sadly, now I do. After coming within 1pt of winning last week, I completely bombed this week. I Hiroshima'd...

It's official, I am the worst sports better on planet Earth. That is not an exaggeration. I wish I were kidding...

If you dont believe me, read on...

Ticket #1: ProLine
Arz @ Atl : Arz to win
Dal @ Ten : Ten to win
Mia @ Hou : Hou to win
Cle @ Oak : Oak to win
Sea @ Chi : Sea to win
Bet: $2
Potential Prize: $1138.02
Recap: Ok, this ticket was a joke anyway... I took all wild underdogs just on a whim. And you know what? I got every game wrong, even the Houston win was wrong because it was only by 2pts (which in ProLine is a tie). 0-5, nice. Almost as bad as Daunte Culpepper's stats. But I did learn a few things from this ticket: Tennessee, Miami and Oakland are THAT bad, and Chicago is THAT good. I vow to never make these mistakes again -- until next week.

Ticket #2: ProLine
SD @ Bal : SD to win
Det @ STL : STL to win
NE @ Cin : Cin to win
Min @ Buf : Buf to win
Bet: $3
Potential Prize: $31.98
Recap: Brutal. I was positive that SD was going to beat Baltimore... heck I had spouted off about that game all week at work. Same with Cincy. I guess I can chalk this one up to the fact that these games were damn near impossible to call. Or at least that is what I am telling myself.

Ticket #3: Point Spread
Arz @ Atl -7.5 : Arz
Dal -9.5 @ Ten : Ten
Mia -4.5 @ Hou : Hou
NWO @ Car -7.5 : Car
SD -2.5 @ Bal : SD
Jax -3.5 @ Was : Jax
Cle -2.5 @ Oak : Oak
NE @ Cin -6.5 : Cin
Ind -9.5 @ NYJ : Ind
Sea @ Chi -3.5 : Sea
Det @ STL -5.5 : Stl
SF @ KC -7.5 : SF
Bet: $3
Potential Prize: $1500.00
Recap: Ok, this is so bad its almost funny. 2 out of 12 right? Jeezus, I should earn something just for being this bad! In all seriousness, I am going to play a George Costanza ticket next week. Whatever way I am leaning, I'm going the opposite... because it really cant get any worse than this... and that's saying something.

Let's bring out the ladies to find out our running totals for 2006:
Total Bet: $16.00
Total Won: $0.00
Total Potential Winnings: $4708.54

This may seem bad right now... but wait until week 10 or so when the totals are 10 times this much... wow...

By the way, feel free to laugh at my expense here, because I really do deserve it. I mean, seriously? Why do I even bother buying these tickets?

For your enjoyment... thats why...

... dont say I never did anything for you...

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