Vindication... (a quick post)

"Victory is mine!"
~ Stewie Griffin

I won.

I know, I cant believe I am typing these words, but I actually won a poker game last Saturday night. The first game of the night too...

Ahh... I feel like King Kong just fell off my back.

Recall how I was questioning my poker skills? How I wondered aloud if I was seriously this bad at poker? How I thought that I must have a glaring tell that everyone must know but me? How I said that something needed to change, and change in a hurry?

Well they did... now suddenly I am confident in my card skills... I'm trying out some chip shuffling tricks... I'm feeling good about poker...

that is, until I pull a Markewich and come in last next game. Ah well... even if I do, I still have my victory on January 21st to look back on.

And the way I see it, now that I have won... I have a grace period of a few games before I start worrying again...

So I guess the bottom line is, life is good.

OH yeah, and about that hockey game I had on Friday Jan 20th... the night before the big poker win... man, that was fun. Again I surprised myself by not being as bad as I thought, in fact, I even scored a goal...

things are looking up people...

Until Next Time...

What a difference 5 years makes...

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
~Mark Twain

Man... today we got new photo ID cards for work, as our organization is changing and we require the necessary identification. We had to hand in our old ID cards and exchange them for these newly taken beauties.

So, when I got my new one, I took a moment to compare the two photos. My old one was taken 5 years ago, when I first started at my current place of employment. My new one was taken just before Christmas.

I looked at the old.

I looked at the new.

I looked back at the old.

Back at the new. My God. I look a whole lot different than I did 5 years ago.

5 years ago I was not married, I had no kids, I lived at home with my parents, I had no money, I drove a crappy 1/4 tonne truck.

Today I am married, I have a baby girl, I own a home, I have money, I have a brand new vehicle.

I guess a vastly different lifestyle can lead to a vastly different picture. One thing that was obvious to me was that I have less hair... thank you gene pool... another is that I am actually slimmer in this current photo than I was 5 years ago. Slimmer in the jowel/double-chin area, but my shoulders appear to be bigger...

...maybe its all those gamma rays...

It's funny to see my old photo, as I am decked out in a then fashionable shirt and tie combo, which just reeks of ambitious newcomer doing his best to look and act like a professional. In my new one, I am wearing a collar-less shirt, my half-smile and body language is that of a been there done that scene it all veteran.

Funny how things change in as little time as 5 years.

Anyway, here are the aforementioned photos for you to see, and in an ongoin effort to avoid identity theft, I have removed any personal information... so if you're out there trying to steal my identity, dont bother... go after another identity, someone more exciting... and with more hair...

Wow...

<-- 2001 2006 -->

It is astonishing to me how different I think I look. I just hope that another 5 years down the road when we do this again, I dont end up looking like Gollum or George Hamilton or something...

I hope I continue to age (relatively) gracefully. But who knows, add in another kid here and there, a little more (or less) stress, and I could look vastly different.

Anyone know where I can buy some good age-defying, wrinkle-reducing facial cream?


Until Next Time...

Loverboy had it right...

"Everybody's working for the weekend... everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end... everybody needs a second chance"
~Loverboy : Terrible 80s band

Ahh, the weekend... while it is still a couple of days away, I still find myself looking forward to this weekend with unmitigated joy... I have a fairly busy weekend planned, and I cant wait for it to arrive...

you see, Friday is my EDO, which equals Earned Day Off... my workplace gives us every other Friday off as our EDOs, and let me tell you, it is a very welcome day off. Do I earn it? Well, for the most part yes...

So I will be off on Friday, free to do whatever I like... which will be getting up early with my daughter, playing with her all morning until she goes for a nap, then maybe reading a book or watching some tv...

bottom line? relaxing... chillaxing even...

By the way, what the f*uck is with the word chillax? I realize that it is firmly entrenched in the popular 20something vernacular, and it is supposed to be a cool way of saying chill and relax all at once... but seriously, that is the stupidest effing word in the league... chillax... gimme a friggin break...

anyway, I digress...

Friday will be a day of rest, possibly some errand-running, maybe even some online poker or xbox if I can... for the most part though, I will be doing my best to make it easy for my wife, as she has graciously allowed me to partake in all activities this weekend...

what a woman...

Friday night is the big workplace hockey game 1.0, and from 9-10pm I will be doing my best to not look like a complete idiot on ice... fat chance... that will probably be followed by a beer or two... which always helps to ease a bruised talibone... and ego...

Saturday is another big day, as it will be just Dad and Paige. My wife Lisa will be accompanying (how in the eff do you spell that word?) both of her brother's girlfriends and some other ladies on a day long wedding dress shopping extravaganza... apparently this is fun for women...

So while Mom is away with the girls doing girl stuff, Dad and Paige will be hangin out... and that is always a blast...

Paige is then set for a visit/sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's place on Saturday night, as Dad is going to embarass himself at poker and Mom is going out with the girls to a bar to do girl stuff...

Poker... yes poker... the game that has rattled my confidence of late... (see this post for proof) Poker night is looming and the trashtalk is flying around like crazy. Gary Payton was even like "damn, thats a lotta smack". I have no retorts, no comebacks, no defense against such slander... I can only try to bring it on Saturday night...

Wish me friggin luck...

Regardless of how the poker games go, I will still have a good time... I always do... Beers+Cards+Eats always = good times... this is a mathematical constant...

Sunday will roll around and I have a basketball game to play at 10:30... so hopefully the effects of the beers the night before wont be too strong, as this is a big game for my team, and I need to be in good form to help us win... maybe I should break out some new kicks for the game, that always seems to help...

After my hoops game its home I go where the NFL Conference Championships await. Now, I dont really care for any of the teams playing, but I am very interested in the Denver / Pittsburgh game, as that should be a classic. Outdoors, in Denver, two cold weather teams, Jake Plummer's beard... should be awesome...

So all in all it should be a great weekend... if everything goes as planned I should be able to report in on Monday or Tuesday with happy news...

if not, well, you'll have to suffer through another negative, poor me, I hate poker, jeezus I suck type of post...

...but you've seen those before...


Until Next Time...

Me and my shoe obsession...

"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."
~ Charles Barkley

In my “Stuff I Think About: Vol 1” post, I wrote the following line:

“I have an unhealthy compulsion for shoes. There I said it.”

I think I had better expand on that comment a little, if nothing else, to avoid being painted with a broad brush that colors me a couple shades of gay. That was a blanket statement regarding shoes… and yes, I realize that shoes, fashion, et al is normally a woman’s or gay man’s domain.

I’ll leave the fashion and all that to them… but shoes, I got something for shoes. I can’t quite explain it.

I like new shoes. I like shoe boxes. I like basketball shoes. I like dress shoes. I like casual shoes. I like running shoes. I like hiking/outdoor shoes.

If it was up to me, and I was independently wealthy, I would have a closet full of shoes. Who knows, one day, maybe I will.

Is that a compulsion? Some would say so… and by some, I mean psychiatrists… and my wife.

In my current active collection of footwear I have the following:

- 6 pairs of basketball shoes (Nike Huarache 2k5, Air Jordan XX Low, Air Jordan XII Low, Nike LeBron 1.5 Low, Adidas T-Mac 1, Adidas Superstar Low)
- 2 pairs of cleats (football, baseball)
- 3 pairs of running/cross training shoes (Nike, Adidas)
- 1 pair of golf shoes (Nike)
- 3 pairs of brown dress shoes
- 2 pairs of black dress shoes
- 1 pair of outdoor/hiking shoes (Nike ACG)

Now… I don’t think that I have a lot of shoes… but when I look at that list, it makes me think that I might have a bit of a problem. I mean, what red-blooded 28yr old man has 18 pairs of shoes? What kind of man has twice as many pairs of shoes as his wife does? Jeezus… does this look and sound as bad as I think it does? (I sure hope not)

Now, if I were a professional athlete, a movie star, a rich dude or a gay man I could see it… but I’m just a regular guy… a regular guy with a thing for shoes I guess.

Compulsion defined reads as: “An irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation”. Now, I don’t know if I have a full blown compulsion for new shoes, as I am able to resist the urge to buy new shoes every time I am shopping.

Almost.

Let me also say, in my own defense, that the reason I have so many pairs of shoes, basketball shoes, in particular, is out of necessity. I play basketball about 4-5 times per week, so my shoes tend to take a beating. It doesn’t matter how much they cost or who endorses them, playing that often in them, will have them looking like terrible and feeling worse. So, I need to rotate my shoes, in order to keep them in decent shape.

(Note that I didn’t say anything about wearing them for a long time. I only want to ensure that they remain looking new, because once they start looking old, they are removed from the rotation.)

Is blatant denial a symptom of mental unrest?

Don’t answer that.

***

Now, I don’t want to lie on the proverbial leather couch here, but I think I can pinpoint where it all started for me. You see, when I was younger, in elementary school to be exact, your coolness was measured by how well you dressed. That’s the way it was. Don’t ask me why.

All I know is that if you were lucky enough to be able to sport a Mexx t-shirt and some Ikeda jeans, then you were well on your way to being cool. But those alone didn’t make the grade. Oh no, you needed some fly sneaks on your feet in order to fit the bill. You needed the whole package.

It’s stupid I know. But that’s the way it was.

The worst part is that your shoes, or rather, the price or brand name of your shoes, also translated how good of a basketball player (or athlete) you were. If you were rockin’ the latest Jordan’s, or the infamous Dee Brown Reebok Pumps, then you were the friggin man.

If you didn’t have such flashy footwear? Well then, you were just a guy who was friends with a guy who wears Jordan’s or Pumps.

So I guess that is where it all started for me. I felt compelled to beg and plead my parents to buy me a pair of Reebok Pumps, for no other reason than I wanted to be cool, and I wanted people to think I could play ball.

Thankfully, that insane reasoning fell by the wayside as I grew older, and I no longer felt that I needed to have the latest and greatest sneaks to be viewed as a baller. The need was gone, but for some reason, the infatuation remained.

Why? I have no idea.

All I can tell you is that I love to go play ball and bust out a new pair of kicks, if they’re straight outta the box, even better.

The advent of eBay has made my life a whole lot easier on the shoe front, as at any given time, there are no less than 3500 auctions going on involving Jordan Brand shoes. So obtaining a pair of my all time favorite sneakers is no longer a difficult undertaking.

Call me crazy, call me immature, call me stupid. I don’t care. It’s just me.

Me and my obsession with shoes.

Until Next Time...

Hockey... a foreign sport to a Canadian?

"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. "
~Doug Larson


Hockey. Ice Hockey.

The elegantly brutal sport that every self-respecting Canadian lives and breathes for.

It may not be our national sport, but its our national passion.

So why, why do I not know how to play it? I mean, I am an athletic young Canadian man who played every sport when I was younger. When it came to organized sports, I played football, baseball, basketball, volleyball, track. But I never played hockey. Now, dont get me wrong, I know how to skate, and, I have to admit, that I actually know how to play hockey (object : put puck in goal), but am I good at it?

Nope.

Am I remotely skilled at it?

Nope.

Am I okay with that?

Nope.

It kills me that I never played hockey as a kid. While I am sure that at the time I would have cursed all those early morning prior to school practices, I still wish I would have played. I guess I can blame my parents for that... as they never let me go into hockey. They told me it was due to having athsma as a child, when actually, I think it was because hockey equipment and fees cost so frigging much.

So I guess I blame them for not putting me into hockey, but I dont blame them for their reasons. Money doesnt grow on trees you know. Well, not directly anyway.

Regardless of where I place the blame, it still kills me that I suck so bad at the only truly Canadian sport. I mean, what kind of Canuck am I? Me not being able to play hockey is like a Chinese kid not being able to play ping pong, or a French kid not being able to hold their liquor at the age of 10.

And yes, I realize the gross cultural generalization I just put put there, but I think its necessary to prove my point. I mean, a Canadian that cant play hockey? Preposterous. (I honestly dont think I have ever typed that word in my life... )

Now, in my own defense, I have to say that I am not totally inept on skates. Only partially.

Put me out there with other people who never played organized hockey in their entire lives, and I might look okay. Hell, I might even look like I know what I'm doing.

But put me out there with guys who have played hockey in their lives? Christ, I look like I belong in the Special Olympics. (no offence to those who actually compete in the S.O. -- more power to you!)

Maybe I do.

So, the point to all this, is that my workmates and I have organized a rec hockey game to take place next Friday night (yes, one night before the next big poker game, and no, I havent forgotten that I have vowed to win)... and while this game will be another chance for me to display my ineptitude on ice, I still think it should be fun.

Fun I say because it turns out that there are more like me than I realized. In fact, it turns out that only a handful of the people coming out to this game actually play or played hockey, while the rest of us Information Technology nerds didnt.

There is a legitimate chance that there might be someone as bad or worse than me out there... so, in the immortal words of Carl Spackler -- "So I guess I got that goin' for me..."

I'll let you all know how it goes... I'm sure it will be a story worth telling...

Until Next Time...

Longing for TiVo... in Canada...

"I love my TiVo! In fact, my VCR is now in the closet with my Commodore 64 and my Atari."
~ Jay Leno


I want to be one of the lazy... well, more lazy...

I want to be one of those people who never really watches live tv...

I want to be able to pause the game while I answer the door/phone/call of nature...

I want to be able to set up a machine to tape all the episodes of "The Office" or "Mythbusters" automatically...

In short... I want a TiVo...

In this day of ultra convenience, I want to have my most convenient appliance made more convenient... just for the sake of conveniency... (is that even a word? if it isnt, it should be)

Here in my neck of the woods (otherwise known as Canada), you cannot get TiVo's. Sure, you can purchase one from a US vendor and have it shipped here on your own dime (or dimes). Sure, you can activate it and even have the service here in Canada. But you cannot buy them here. Odd isnt it? In fact, here is a direct quote from TiVo's website...

"Is the TiVo service available in Canada? "
"The TiVo Service is now available in Canada. Canadian residents will be given special instruction to follow when activating service. Please look for the link "Instructions for Canadian residents," under step 1 during the activation process.

TiVo does not sell boxes in Canada, so Canadian residents must purchase boxes in the US and import them. If the DVR becomes defective, TiVo will not ship a warranty replacement box into Canada, and will only ship to a US address. "

Wow... sounds complicated... But even that idiotic set-up wont deter me from getting a TiVo.

I have friends that have TiVo's. Bought them off eBay. They are using their technical wizardry to get the TiVo to work here in Canada at a much lower price than TiVo can offer. Free.

Now I want in.

Bad.

So I am going to do my best to get my hands on one and get it working, umm, creatively... to suit my televsion needs.

The only question I have is... why hasnt some Canadian television provider formed a partnership with TiVo to give them tv and the ability to watch what they want, when they want?

I mean, if I were in charge of a Canadian cable company or tv provider, I would have approached TiVo a long time ago to partner the TiVo service with my television service.

It would be a friggin goldmine.

"Sign up with us and we'll give you a TiVo, and we'll include your TiVo service subscription with your television subscription!"

Hell, they wouldnt even have to give the TiVo's away, they could rent them out.. finance them... whatever... just get them in people's homes!

Does this not make sense to everyone? Jeezus, the guy who makes it happen will be swimming in money... Scrooge McDuck-style.

Who knows, maybe someone's already thought of this and had the evil CRTC shoot them down. And now with the emergence of DVR's and PVR's I am sure people will be able to get the same functionality as TiVo, but it wont be TiVo.

Besides, TiVo is way more fun to say that PVR.

When I get my TiVo and get it running, I will post a follow up to this senseless rambling to let people know how it went and how it works in the Great White North.

Stuff I think about : Vol 1

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
~ Mark Twain

(Fitting quote, don't you think?)

Once in a while, I have these random thoughts that pop into my head... they have no rhyme or reason... but I need to get them out there... so here they are... I don't know what to call these, as similar versions of the same idea are out there (thank you Bill Simmons), so we'll just call them "Stuff I think about"...

And away we go...

Ever try to make it through a game of Scrabble without having to resort to using a three letter word? It's damn near impossible... besides, getting 15pts out of PIT (triple word score) is just as impressive (if not more) as getting 5 out of NOISE.

Mitch Hedberg died too soon.

I think there is something about drinking beer out of a clear bottle that I like. I do not prefer Miller Genuine Draft any more than I do Coors Light or Alex Keith's, but if I had to choose one of the three products (in a bottle, on tap is a different story), I would go with the MGD... no real reason...

I wish I knew how to play the guitar.

I'm tired of Ron Artest.

"Seacrest Out!" is possibly the gayest thing since... well, Ryan Seacrest.

I get genuinely pissed off when I see my fantasy players/team perform poorly. I know I'm not the only one who is this way. Honestly, if I saw Marcus Camby or Terrell Owens on the street right now, I would curse them out for ruining my fantasy teams.

No I wouldn't.

I'd probably gush and ask for their autograph and a picture.

If I don't make a hole in one in my lifetime, I wont be disappointed... I just want to play enough golf to have a chance.

I think the creators of the board game "Scene It?" are geniuses. No other game blends the board game aspect, technology and laziness quite like "Scene It?". What other game do you get to use a remote to be prompted for a question?

Speaking of board games, I think that most every trivia game out there is some bastardized version of Trivial Pursuit. Do you think the people at Trivial Pursuit are flattered by that? Me either...

I have an unhealthy compulsion for shoes. There I said it.

A friend of mine (a fellow member of my monthly poker game) got a kick out of my post on how bad I apparently am at poker. I didn't share the humor. The worst part is, I had no come-back. My only hope is to win. Soon. And often.

I saw Phil Gordon in a televised poker tournament, it was weird to see him play after watching him try to be cool as the "color man" for all the celebrity poker tournaments. I had a hard time taking him seriously.

Basketball is the one sport that is the most difficult to make a video game out of. Even with all of today's technology, every hoops game out there looks terrible. Why is it that Gollum and King Kong can look so friggin real, but they cant make a cross-over dribble look right?

"The Aviator" is one of those movies that is bad enough for me to say that its bad, but its just good enough to keep me from turning it off.

There are two movies that get me everytime. By that I mean that everytime I stumble across them while channel-surfing, I have to immediately put down the remote and watch the rest of it, no matter how far into the movie it is. One is "A Few Good Men", the other is "Superman : the Motion Picture".

Alton Brown needs more publicity. He's a culinary genius, as is his Food Network show "Good Eats".

I wish Saturday Night Live would do a season like Survivor did with their "All-Stars" from seasons past. Imagine skits with the comedy stylings of Eddie Murphy in his prime coupled with the late John Belushi, followed by Will Ferrell and Chevy Chase. That would be good times.

I don't think Jimmy Fallon would make the cut. But his "Barry Gibb Talk Show" skit was the funniest one I have seen in a long time.

Neither would Dana Carvey... c'mon, admit it... anybody could have played Garth.

Is there a more uncomfortable situation than trying to have a technical conversation with someone who has a severe stuttering problem? I know he stutters, he knows he stutters... and yet, I feel terribly awkward.

What happened to the stubble-beard? The Western movies made it famous, Don Johnson brought it to icon status, and then it went away... what happened?

How long will it be until soap operas resort to showing full frontal nudity? I don't watch them, but don't they have the perfect names for it? Passions, Young and the Restless, the Bold and the Beautiful, Days of Our Lives... any would work. All My Children? Not so much...

I wish I had a famous younger/older sibling. If Ashley Simpson can do it, anyone can.

Well, that's enough for today... so until next time... Seacrest Out!