Another successful show...

Well, I did it. The wedding is over, and I had another successful showing as an MC. I had the crowd laughing and applauding, and get this, I even earned myself a standing ovation.

Wow... people are too kind... especially after a few beers...

I must say that the nerves I was feeling did get to me just a little, although I am told it didnt appear that way to anyone else, and it did affect my performance just a little during the most nerve-wracking part of my program -- the part where I sang a song...

I know!

Singing is hard enough, but this was a triple whammy because I had never sang before in front of anyone before, also I had no musical accompaniment and it was a song that no one knew. Needless to say, I was shittin bricks a little...

The song went off relatively well (I'll give myself a B+ on that performance - I could have done better I think), and the rest of the program was fantastic...

I had so many people coming up to me afterward saying such kind things like "you are awesome, great job!" or "I've never laughed so hard at a wedding!" or even "I should hire you to come do my wedding!" and even "You should have your own talk show!"

Craziness... but hey, I'll take the compliments... I worked damn hard at that program...

Anyway, just wanted to drop that in on this blog -- another proverbial pat on the back for yours truly...

Nervous? Who, me? Of course I am...

"I always feel pressure. If you don't feel nervous, that means you don't care about how you play. I care about how I perform."
~ Tiger Woods

Okay, I'm no Tiger Woods (my teeth arent ginormous). But I can relate to his quote on nerves and/or pressure.

You see, I am emcee-ing my brother-in-law's wedding this Friday, and to be honest, I'm a little nervous.

Nerves are natural, etc, etc -- blah blah... but for this cat - they are not usually an issue. Unlike 87% of the world's population, I do not have an issue with public speaking. I enjoy it acutally. I thrive on it. I love it. Maybe its just my ego's way of getting what it needs - as you are never more the center of attention than when you are the sole man at a microphone at a family wedding.

I have emceed (is that even a friggin word?) a few weddings prior to this one, so I pretty much know what to expect and how to conduct myself - but as this one fast approaches, I find myself lying awake at night hashing over the program and going over jokes again and again and again.

Am I confident? Abso-fucking-lutely. There will not be a single person in attendance on Friday night that would be able to do a better job than I can. I'm serious. Does that make me sound cocky? Maybe - but its the truth.

But that still doesnt prevent me from asking myself questions repeatedly:

Is this funny?
Does that flow correctly?
Should I leave this part out?
Hows my timing on that joke?
This isnt too offensive, is it?
Is this funny?


Now, this mental scrambling is human nature I guess... but, as I said, I really havent been this nervous before... maybe its the fact that its a family wedding (my wife's family - but family nonetheless)... maybe its the fact that I really want to do a great job for my brother-in-law and his new beautiful bride... actually...

I think the main reason I am suffering with a little case of the nerves this time is because - well, this is my 4th trip as an emcee, and it is getting really really hard to come up with new material... re-using jokes is not an option for me, as I know that I am far too talented to fall back on an old bit, and also, all of our friends will be in attendance - so they have heard them all before...

So, like I said - the pressure is on... but like Tiger... I thrive on that pressure...

I'll be damn sure to bring the funny on Friday night - and I'll be back here tooting my own horn come Monday morning...

So, until that time -- don't let your meat loaf....

Congratulations Josh Blue...

Josh Blue won "Last Comic Standing" last night. Josh defeated Ty Barnett in the finale, and while I wholeheartedly disagree with it, I still have to give credit where credit is due.

Good on ya Josh...

Welcome www.thezims.ca!

My old website www.thezims.ca , mainly dedicated to family and stuff has now been redirected here - to the Captains Chronicles. I think it will make it easier for me to post more often if I'm doing it in one place, as opposed to two. Sorry for the two post day -- but I figured it warranted mentioning...

Chris Porter got jobbed!

I am a huge fan of the show "Last Comic Standing". I'll admit it, I like stand-up comedy. I think it is one of the most difficult things to do in the world. Imagine getting up in front of a crowd full of people and trying to make them laugh. It may sound easy, but jeezus, I will never even think of trying it.

When NBC brought back LCS for another season, I was pumped to watch it. Set up the TiVo season pass and everything. When it kicked off and did the obligatory try-out shows, I tuned in with all the regularity and dedication of a housewife watching Oprah and Dr. Phil.

(Side note - Why the hell do homemakers [male or female] insist on watching Oprah and Dr. Phil in succession? Is it possible to be a fan of one show and not a fan of the other? I think Oprah has all the daytime viewers brainwashed. But thats another story for another time.)

Anyway, as LCS picked up steam, I found my favorite comic. His name is Chris Porter. The guy is tall, gangly and rather ugly - with his receiding Gene Wilder white man fro, and his hangdog open-mouthed you just stumped me with a math problem look on his face. But damn, the dude is funny. Funny as hell.

This is why I am so pissed off.

Chris Porter got the boot from LCS last night, somehow getting less votes than Ty Barnett and Josh Blue.

Ty Barnett is a funny, funny dude who I think might win the thing (if a black dude hadnt won it last time), but Josh Blue just isnt as funny as either of them. He's just rockin the pity vote.

(**Disclaimer** The following sentences could be mistonstrued as mean or even cruel, but they are not meant to be that way. I am only being honest.)

Josh Blue has Cerebral Palsy. He is a comic with a disability, and believe me when I say that he does have a good stand-up routine. But is he as funny as Ty or Chris Porter? Nope. Not even a little. Josh Blue's stand-up routing is one-dimensional. All he talks about is his disability. He does make light of it and his jokes are amusing, but his act can go nowhere from where it is now. And, his delievery and timing are average at best.

This is why I say he is as far as he is because people in America are giving him a pity vote.

Now, since I have just typed possibly the most mailicious comment I have ever typed, I need to follow it up by saying that I do applaude Josh for making it this far. Like it or not, he is paving the way for other people with disabilities to enter into a difficult field. I mean, stand-up has always been dominated by either physical/sketch comedy, or by the cerebral/sarcastic comedy. Josh Blue is a pioneer.

I just dont think he deserved to make it to the finals of Last Comic Standing.

Thats my point.

Now, since Chris Porter got the boot, I am going to use this space to post a few YouTube clips of him to help spread the word on this guy. He's frickin hilarious. He's not afraid to do the edgey humor, and he also can do the family friendly jokes to appease most every crowd.

Here's a clip from his first appearance on the show, the one that put him through the first round of try-outs. This joke is brilliant, as is his delivery of it.




Here's a clip from the semi-finals I think. Friggin genius. It's a little edgey, more so than the previous clip. I love the line "IT'S TOMORROW!".



Here is some choice material that Porter wrote during a roasting challenge during the show.



I like this set too. Damn funny. Treads on religion... yet in a family friendly way... that is tough to do.



This set is friggin hilarious... the Costco bit is priceless... so is the traffic part "Beep Beep! Festiva!"



I havent found his last two sets, but I think it was his last one that may have did him in. Once I find them, I'll post em. But for now, enjoy these...

Chris Porter should have won Last Comic Standing. He got jobbed.

"Peace and love everybody. I'll see ya next time"