The Ho Ho Hangover...
"I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping."
~ Steven Wright
Ugh... Here it is, December 28th, and I feel like I have been Christmas-ing for 2 months. I have eaten, drank, eaten and drank all I can eat and drink... and now, now that I sit in my comfy chair at my office, I am experiencing the full effects of what I call the "Ho Ho Hangover".
What is the "Ho Ho Hangover" you ask? Well, let me explain...
Do you think that if you ate one more morsel of turkey, you would puke?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you look at chocolates, dainties and bite sized squares of various baking with utter disdain?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you want to take down your Christmas tree immediately?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Have you deleted all those Christmas tunes from your iTunes folder?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are you sick of finding pine needles, shreds of wrapping paper and Clodhoppers around your house?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Have you cursed aloud as you stepped on the bathroom scale?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you have "meat sweats?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are there more than 24 empty beer bottles / 6 empty wine bottes / 3 empty liquor bottles in your recycling bin?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover (or maybe just a plain old hangover)
Are you at work, cursing the fact that the stat holidays are over?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are you all family-ed and visit-ed out?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
(**Note -- I really hope that none of my family or my in-laws takes offense to that... as it doesnt mean I am sick of them... because I am not... and I also dont know why I felt the need to insert this comment in here...)
Sorry for getting all Jeff Foxworthy on you there, but I think you get the picture... any number of these things mean you are experiencing what I am experiencing...
Now, dont get me wrong... did I enjoy Christmas? AB-SO-FREAKIN-LUTELY! In fact, I enjoyed it even more than I did in recent years! Recall my post on my "Grinch-sized Revelation" for proof...
It was a great Christmas... My daughter Paige got spoiled rotten, as if I expected anything less of our families... I managed to spoil my wife this year (again), I made out like a bandit with my gifts too, as my wife, daughter, siblings, nephews, parents and in-laws were all so very generous this year. We had a great time on Christmas Eve... we had an outstanding meal (cooked by yours truly) on Christmas Day... we had a fantastic time on Boxing Day and yesterday was fun as well...
all in all, Christmas '05 was the best so far... and the best part is, they are only going to get better as the years go on...
If only I could do something about this Ho Ho Hangover...
Wait, maybe I should treat this like a regular hangover... what's the best cure for that? Hair of the dog... is that what they say?
Well, to do that, I'll have to go eat a turkey bun for lunch, have a butter tart for a snack and listen to Bing Crosby's White Christmas...
uhh... maybe next year...
~ Steven Wright
Ugh... Here it is, December 28th, and I feel like I have been Christmas-ing for 2 months. I have eaten, drank, eaten and drank all I can eat and drink... and now, now that I sit in my comfy chair at my office, I am experiencing the full effects of what I call the "Ho Ho Hangover".
What is the "Ho Ho Hangover" you ask? Well, let me explain...
Do you think that if you ate one more morsel of turkey, you would puke?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you look at chocolates, dainties and bite sized squares of various baking with utter disdain?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you want to take down your Christmas tree immediately?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Have you deleted all those Christmas tunes from your iTunes folder?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are you sick of finding pine needles, shreds of wrapping paper and Clodhoppers around your house?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Have you cursed aloud as you stepped on the bathroom scale?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Do you have "meat sweats?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are there more than 24 empty beer bottles / 6 empty wine bottes / 3 empty liquor bottles in your recycling bin?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover (or maybe just a plain old hangover)
Are you at work, cursing the fact that the stat holidays are over?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
Are you all family-ed and visit-ed out?
... then you have a Ho Ho Hangover
(**Note -- I really hope that none of my family or my in-laws takes offense to that... as it doesnt mean I am sick of them... because I am not... and I also dont know why I felt the need to insert this comment in here...)
Sorry for getting all Jeff Foxworthy on you there, but I think you get the picture... any number of these things mean you are experiencing what I am experiencing...
Now, dont get me wrong... did I enjoy Christmas? AB-SO-FREAKIN-LUTELY! In fact, I enjoyed it even more than I did in recent years! Recall my post on my "Grinch-sized Revelation" for proof...
It was a great Christmas... My daughter Paige got spoiled rotten, as if I expected anything less of our families... I managed to spoil my wife this year (again), I made out like a bandit with my gifts too, as my wife, daughter, siblings, nephews, parents and in-laws were all so very generous this year. We had a great time on Christmas Eve... we had an outstanding meal (cooked by yours truly) on Christmas Day... we had a fantastic time on Boxing Day and yesterday was fun as well...
all in all, Christmas '05 was the best so far... and the best part is, they are only going to get better as the years go on...
If only I could do something about this Ho Ho Hangover...
Wait, maybe I should treat this like a regular hangover... what's the best cure for that? Hair of the dog... is that what they say?
Well, to do that, I'll have to go eat a turkey bun for lunch, have a butter tart for a snack and listen to Bing Crosby's White Christmas...
uhh... maybe next year...
Labels: rants
posted by The Captain at 12/28/2005 10:48:00 AM
2 Comments:
Hey Captain, I too have one of these hangovers, but mine stems from the 'kid given way too many presents, now acting little spoilt brat' effect of Christmas. Oh and the massive amounts of food cooked and consumed is probably adding to the dull ringing in my ears, no wait that's just Cicadas...
I actually avoided the overkill affect somehow this year. I did, however, contract some sort of temporary narcolepsy, probably a latent effect of the turkey.
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